letting go

Why is letting go so hard? This morning in my garden I was reluctant to pull out the fading and dying flowers out of the flower beds. I could see that they still had some life in them, and there was some flowering and beauty left. But they were leggy and not thriving well, all the nutrients and fulness had gone. I know that by pulling them and cutting them all the way back, that next season they will pop back up and go with great gusto bringing new life and beauty to my backyard....and yet it is still hard to pull those plants that are hanging on with little life to them. 

Lots of us have a tendency to want to hang on to what was,  instead of looking forward and being excited about what is ahead. What was, is known... what lies ahead is often unknown. I have found that most of us avoid things that feel unpleasant, and make us feel vulnerable. (I was one one of those people. I liked to feel in control and that I had power in situations.) I have learned that is faulty thinking. Letting go is where the joy and life is found. We, as people don't like to let go. What do you need to let go of?

I have found that when I let go, new things come. When I pull the old out of my garden, it makes room for new growth and color. 

How much of life is not colorful and full anymore because we will not let go of the old and make room for the new that the Lord wants to bring into our lives? Are we stuck saying I'm not ready to let go? holding on to things with tight fists? will you open your fist and let go into God's hands of that thing you so tightly are gripping?

work and play

Do you know how to work hard and still play? Or better yet, do you know how to play while you work? Is work fun? Do you experience joy and fun in all aspects of life? Is it possible to bring play and experience joy to all you do? at home, in work, in mundane tasks when no one is around? YES I believe it is. 

What is required to really play? Maybe letting go, relaxing, and going with the flow of life. Or as the Serenity prayer says, Accepting what we can not change and changing what we can. I find when I am relaxed, I laugh more, am more spontaneous, and more fun to be around. What brings joy and happiness to your life? 

It takes good healthy boundaries to say no to be able to make time for play in our lives. I know that if I say yes to too many things I find that the joy factor is sucked out of my life and soon I can become angry, resentful and lose my zest for life. I have to say no to many things so that I can keep the balance and keep my priorities in order.  The fast pace of life, and the worries of the day, can choke out the joy and enjoyment of being alive and those relationships that God has given us. Happiness is right in front of us, all around us....even in the midst of pain and suffering there is joy and happiness to be experienced and shared. The real question is, will I make the time? 

Am I wiling?

 I believe that we CAN change. I believe God can use each of us to make a difference for HIS glory and Name sake. This morning I as thinking on the changes that I would love to see in my life. One of them is that I would not be so selfish. I really believe that the Lord laid this on my heart and showed me how subtle and not so subtle that my selfishness can be. It peeps it ugly self out in conversations with my husband and bad attitudes that I don't seem want to give up. Oh I say that I want to give them up, but do I really? Am I ready to let go of those things that hinder the power of the Holy Spirit in my life? Do I really want to do whatever it takes and face my selfishness head on? This is where I found myself pausing a bit. I do want to get rid of the selfishness, I want Christ to have full reign in my life in all areas. Here comes the BUT.....BUT I have to ask myself am I willing to count the cost and do whatever it takes to really change. My head may know that I need change, but if my heart isn't ready to let go and surrender, admitting what is wrong is wrong, and ready to turn away from the behavior and sin, turning to God instead...I am not going to make progress. The answer for me is YES..I am willing...while my husband and I walked this morning I shared with him my heart, and my plan for accountability and change...

As the saying goes, "Nothing changes, if nothing changes"

Thought life

Our thought life pretty much determines the mood, the weather, and the climate of your heart. 

If that's true, then do we need do a little cleaning up?

Can our thought life be controlled or managed? Yes I believe it can, but more importantly I know that controlling and taking captive our thought life to the obedience of Christ, changes our life giving us more of that abundant living we all desire. 

It's all about what do you do with the initial thought that is crucial.

 A thought comes into our head...random junk popping into our mind, horrifying us, or little things that are just plain stupid.  You know the thoughts you have that are not from God. These thoughts tend to capture lots of time and attention and can really throw us off track, zapping us of much needed energy. So what do you do with them? This is important to remember, it's what you do with the initial thought, not the initial thought itself that is the problem. We have a choice...with each initial thought we have, we have the choice to either kill it, or fulfill it. 

We can choose to take it captive(2 Cor.10:5) and refocus (Phil 4:8), or we can think on it further and let it become a part of us damaging and darkening our heart. 

 

I love that God gives us choices....so much of life is about the choices we make. 

staying the course

When you think of the word discipline what feelings come up? I think of training when I hear the word discipline. I don't think of it as a negative, but as something that I need to learn and do in order to get the benefits of the training. I think of discipline as a means to a positive result. Although the discipline/training may not be pleasant at the time, with practice it gets easier with time as I get stronger, thus enabling me to do the next level of training. 

Years ago I lifted weights and did a lot of training at the gym. At first it was grueling. Every time I worked a new muscle group I was sore for sometimes up to week afterwards. Gradually I increased the weight and the pain went away as I became accustomed to the training and disciplined myself to continue, keeping the goal and the rewards in mind. I also had others that I worked out with to encourage me and I them. The pain of stretching and using new muscles was not so bad in the company of others that were of the same mind and headed for the same goal. The benefits of those workouts and daily training were tremendous. I learned invaluable lessons of staying the course no matter how hard it seemed and no matter how hard I ached and wanted to give up. 

One of my favorite books is by Dallas Willard" The Spirit of the Disciplines". It is an amazing book that over the years has changed my life as I practice spiritually the disciplines of abstinence. I never thought years ago when I picked up this book that it would radically change my thinking and life. Discipline takes practice and discipline not to give up and stay the course, but it is well worth it! Living a more disciplined life has brought freedom, joy, and abundant living in HIM. Today, I am going to stay the course with my eyes fixed on Jesus!

fear

"His perfect love casts out all fear". This is so powerful. I want a life where I am not afraid. Not afraid of failing, trying new things, looking stupid, being rejected, clowns....the list of potential fears goes on and on..

I know that I am not alone. All through the Bible, it speaks of not being afraid. God knows how prone we are to fears within. I meet with people all week and one of the common denominators in everyone's life is fear. I have yet to meet with anyone who was with out fear. The Lord knows this, and HE wants to cast out our fear. The Word says that it's HIS love that casts out all fear. His perfect love. Is it the love itself? or is it the ability to experience that perfect love? for me, it is when I am fully believing, knowing, and resting in that knowledge of His love, that I am not afraid. It's when I am keeping my eyes on Him and not the fear that I am not consumed. I may still be aware of the fear within, but I can walk through fear when I am focused on Him,  am really believing that He is always with me, and His love for me is never ending. When I feel afraid, just stopping and reminding myself that GOD is with me and HIS power is within me, is all I need to face the giant in my mind and move through the fear. 

Fear can be completely debilitating and GOD has given us the remedies for handling our fear...will we do it? 

Body

I've been meditating on the whole body, mind, soul connection. Now I love to work out, so the exercise is not that hard for me, but when I am tired or not feeling well, I can find every excuse not to go. Then there is the issue of food. Not so much how much I eat, as what I eat. If left to myself I would grab snack food, candy, or cookies, before I would make a meal for myself. Then of course there is the whole reason that I am eating. Is it because I am really hungry? or am I trying to fill an unmet need inside of me?

On the purely selfish side I want to be healthy and want to live a life that is full of energy and good health. On the spiritual side, I am the temple of the Holy Spirit and I want to be used of God, ready and strong to do what He is calling me to do. I want to live a long life of service to Him, for His glory. 

If I make good choices regarding my food, and physical health my life is going to be more fulfilling. I am going to feel better, and I am going to be ready physically for what the Lord has for me. I do have a chronic illness that I have to maintain, and because of it I do have to work through pain issues and fatigue....However I am responsible for caring for this body/temple of the Holy Spirit, with no excuses. I can eat right and exercise, keep at a healthy weight so I am not physically hindered, and get enough sleep each night. My illness doesn't keep me from these things, but my attitude does. In fact my illness is not as bad because I make healthy choices.

With such crazy lives today, most people I believe are not taking the time to eat right, exercise, or get enough sleep. I make it a daily practice to get 7-8 hours of sleep, I do prepare healthy meals 3x a day, and I do exercise 5 days a week, whether I feel like it or not. The blessings from these three practices have brought huge benefits to my life. All of my life is better when I feel better physically. All three of these practices bring me ENERGY, thus enabling me experience life to the full! I can hear you saying I don't have time to do this, or I have small children, or my family won't cooperate......It's not dependent on them for you to do this today...this is about you and what choices YOU and going to make for YOU! 

God loves you, and wants the best for you...the real question is, do you believe it, and will you care for yourself in the light of that love?

HiS beloved

This morning I was thinking about how the Lord has made me "HIS beloved child", and how over the years I have really come to believe that He loves me, deep inside. I feel like I am "GOD's favorite child" and often say I am God's favorite. (before you get your nickers in a knot, I know that GOD doesn't have favorites, but you know when you are a kid and feel so loved up that you are sure that you are your parents favorite?. That is how I feel with God, like I am His favorite because I feel so loved up)  I can feel HIS love all around me now, inside me, touching me.  HIS love has permeated my heart and life, and I in turn want to love HIM with all that I have. Body, mind, soul. I find it curious and wonderful. I have also discovered that body, mind, spirit, must be working together to fully worship HIM. That one is not separate from the other. They are meant to work in symphony. 

When any of body, mind, or soul are not right, they all seem to suffer...and then my relationships suffer. I am responsible to care for myself, this temple of God's, to bring Him glory. I want to do all I can to take care of all three in surrender to HIM so that I can be of total use whenever and for whatever He calls me to do. 

Today I am enjoying His love, examining my life and looking at where might be out of balance. What changes do I want/need to make?

Am I?

Do you have a desire to learn and grow? Do I look for and ask people to speak into my life and take their advise? or am I a lone ranger, trying to figure life out on my own? This morning as I was reading John 1, I was examining and asking the Lord to search me out and show me how teachable I am. Jesus is "the Teacher". He is my Rabbi. Am I a student of HIS? Am I seeking HIS direction and then carrying it out. The mark of whether I am teachable isn't whether or not I ask for advise or direction, but do I then carry it out. Teachable people seek knowledge and desire to grow...not just in head knowledge, but in growing and changing more into the image of the ONE they follow. 

Whether we know it or not, we all have many teachers in our life. Those we hang out with, listen to, and follow. We become like those we follow. WOW! Who am I following and learning from today?

removing good for best

Sometimes we have to take perfectly good things out of our lives in order to do and enjoy what is best. 

This morning I was out in my garden pruning the lavender and roses. The lavender and roses while beautiful were beginning to get leggy and spindly looking. The flowers were still fragrant and perfect....they were good.....but they also were taking a lot of energy from the plant sending it out in all different directions. Soon if not pruned they would have turned brown at the bottom near the roots devoid of any more life. Having expended their energy on the one or two quick blooms. However if I prune the still good and beautiful flowers I help the plant become and stay, full and lush, with a steady flow of flowers for a long season. It felt a little sad to cut off all these still beautiful flowers.

My garden helps me understand why God prunes our lives, and why we too must prune even some of the good things out of our lives in order to make room for what is best. There are many things that are good in life that can actually keep me from God's best. Distracting and draining my energy from living in HIS fullness and HIS purposes.  

So today I am thinking about how to prune my life, even of some of the good things in order to make room/time for the best. 

Goals vs Desires

One of the stumbling blocks of my past in reaching my personal goals, was that when I set my goals they were dependent upon others behaviors and cooperation to reach them. This ended up in a lot of frustration and discouragement, not to mention a sense of failure. 

For instance if my goal is to have a perfectly clean house all the time, this is bound up to end in frustration because I have a husband who does not have the goal of having a perfect house, nor are his standards of a perfect home the same as mine. Now I could run around all the time and do all the work myself to have this perfect house, but really how successful am I going to be with any consistency? Not very, not to mention I am going to probably be mad and resentful. Having a perfect home then qualifies as a desire, not a goal.

A goal is about me, it's something that I can attain through choices, discipline and efforts. It requires action on my part. It does not include the cooperation of others. A reasonable goal if we use the example of the house would be; 

keeping my things picked up, my drawers neat, the bed made every morning, dinner dishes done before bed. Anything that I can do without the cooperation of others. 

Here's a couple more examples:

It is a desire to have a happy marriage. It is my goal to have a positive attitude with my husband. 

It is my desire to have well behaved children. It is my goal to be consistent and even tempered. 

Goals need to be specific, measurable, attainable, and about you...they do not require the cooperation of others in order to attain them. 

Desires are just that desires. A desire is something you want or would like to see. Give your desires to God, and let HIM fill and be the desire of your heart. That is where the ultimate fulfillment is. 

Goals

I was talking to my coach the other day and we were talking about reaching goals. Sometimes a goal sounds and looks so far away that we mentally give up before we even get started. We set ourselves up for failure before we even begin. I have been in the process of evaluating and setting daily/weekly goals for myself. I have always set goals and yet about half the time I have procrastinated and not accomplished them, or just given up, leaving me with a sense of failure, and a silent disappointment in myself. Most of the goals that I believe that we set, we never share with anyone else. They are little deals that we make with ourselves, that most often are never accomplished and or we think are not met because someone else kept us from it. 

REALLY?? 

When I am honest with myself, the goals I have not met in my life, whether they were spoken or not was because I didn't keep at it, or because I made the goal in haste without counting the cost, or a variety of other excuses.......but when my goal is not met it is because of "I".  

The good news is, I am not making stupid goals anymore, and I am keeping the goals that I set with consistency. Goals are important in life, they keep us growing, learning , and stretching. 

There are keys and strategies to setting effective goals and then reaching them. 

Integrity

Our words and our behaviors must be aligned for us to have integrity. How often do my words not match my actions? Do I walk my talk? Do I struggle with following through with what I promise? Integrity is what I am made up of. It is what others see and experience of me. It's not so much what I think about myself, but what I live out that really matters. My life, actions, and words are reflections of my core values and heart. Do I need to align my actions to fit my words? or do I need to align my words to fit my actions? Maybe, both words and actions are not reflective of who you want to be, and a reevaluation of your life, goals, values is necessary. 

Whatever it is, you can take action today and make the necessary adjustments. Share it with someone that can help you get back on course. Hold yourself accountable. Make a simple, measurable plan for today and stick to it. Big changes in life start with the small day-to-day choices and actions. All the small changes add up to a big change in time. 

  Aligning our actions with our words brings with it the experience of freedom and a sense of peace. When there are no broken promises to distract us, we live cleanly and truthfully. 

Practice

Practice makes perfect, or is perfect practice makes perfect? Some say one, some say another. I am going to say that regular practice makes progress and forms character. 

My character is growing today!

My husband and I are blessed to be getting some living "as if" practice again today. We left town yesterday to visit our youngest grandson Caleb, that is 4 months old and lives in Virginia. Our plans were that we would be there last night and this morning early we would be cuddling him up. But nothing went according to plan once we were at the airport. Our flight was delayed 2 hours in San Francisco, missing our connecting flight in Philadelphia by 5 minutes. And there we were at 11:30pm stranded in the airport with our new flight not leaving until 2pm this afternoon. 

We didn't have a place to stay, we were told that all rooms near the airport were booked, and renting a car was heading towards 200.00 for the night/day. We looked at each other and had a choice to make. Tired and hungry, without a room, snacks from a vending machine(the airport was shutting down) and stuck until 2pm today. What were we going to do? We could act in accordance with what we believe and who we want to be, or we could revert to childish behavior, reacting to the circumstances and ruin what could be a nice little adventure. We chose the latter, and are finding that we are enjoying this little adventure. We are looking forward to seeing our kids this afternoon and the baby. Yesterday is done..today is here and good and blessings are all around us. I am going to fully embrace our morning in this room, and our time in the airport, and how sweet it will be to be on our way this afternoon with a smiling baby and our kids at the other end. 

Living "as if"

In AA, it is a well known statement "fake it till you make it".....what exactly does that mean? In life we all have many habits and behaviors that we want to change, and grow out of. It takes time, discipline and practice to see those changes manifest themselves into realization. I have learned that changes can happen right now if I "act as if" I were already changed. What is one thing that you want to change in your life? Big or little? Ok. now visualize how would you be behaving differently if you no longer were doing that behavior? What would you be doing? How would you be acting? How would you be feeling about yourself? How would you be spending your time? .....(this really works, so bear with me) Write down what you would be doing differently and how you would be behaving if you were already changed. Now ask yourself what is stopping you from "acting as if" those changes have already happened? Today! why can't you act that way today? I have learned that if "I act as if" these life changes have already occurred, then my life changes really does change for the better and the changes begin to happen. Practicing to walk "as if" in areas of my life, produces discipline and discipline produces perseverance, and perseverance produces character. Before I know it, if I keep at it my practice becomes a reality! Here is a real life example. We got bamboo hardwood floors. I would have liked in a perfect world that they wouldn't get scratched, but we have 6 kids and grandchildren. I knew I was going to have scratches! I wanted to be relaxed about the floors, and not obsess on any scratches that were bound to come about. I visualized what that would look like, how I would act and what I would be like if I were not caring about scratches on the floor, and I began to intentionally act in that way. I purposed myself " to act as if" scratches on the floor were not important. Now 1 year and lots of scratches later, I can say that it works! I really do not care about the scratches...I am relaxed about it, and even view them as memories of fun family times. What could have been a point of stress for me has become a positive experience with warm memories.

Seek to understand

When I listen, one of the things I have noticed is that if I have a humble attitude that wants to understand what the other is saying, I typically do understand. But when I approach a situation with an attitude or feel defensive in any way, I find that I struggle to listen and really take in what the other person is saying. My mind can wander around, checking out body language, and tone..only to find myself "thinking" instead of listening. Real  listening is an art and takes a lot of energy. But it brings with it many blessings. 

First I need a right attitude, one of seeking to understand, and then I need to practice being quiet and really listening to what the other is trying to get across. Mirroring back what I hear, and asking if I am understanding, and asking more questions about it if they are wanting to share more. 

Time is love. When we give someone our time and really listen to them; whether it is our spouse, children, or friend, we show them value and love. I am enjoying this practice of deeper listening to those I love. I am growing and so are my relationships. What a blessing!

SILENCE

The practice of remaining silent. It's a practice. In this ever learning quest to be a better listener, I am challenged by the silence. Letting the silence be just that, SILENCE. Nothing needs to be said but taking time to reflect on what I just heard, and responding appropriately to the need of the moment. Mirroring back what I've heard and asking if I have understood correctly. It is said that if you feel misunderstood, it is likely that you are. Everyone longs to be understood, and when we listen and take the time to really understand what the other is saying, intimacy happens. Real connection occurs and hearts touch. Lives are changed. I am changed. When I connect deeply to someone else, life immediately becomes more full. 

When I listen in the silence, I often learn what is really being said.....

Lisening

I am discovering how hard it is to really listen to others. I work at listening, really listening with my heart to what others are saying, and yet the Lord is showing me where I lack in listening skills. Last night while leading a lay counseling training, the Lord brought to mind the importance of listening with my whole being to my husband Mike. I am a much better listener to others than I am to my husband. You've probably heard before that there is a reason that we have "two ears and one mouth". We should listen more and speak less...I have to agree that I learn more when I am listening and not speaking. But there is more than just being quiet to listening. I have to engage with what they are actually saying, and put aside what I am thinking, to REALLY hear what they are saying.  How often are you thinking of your response when listening rather than listening and then taking time to think about what was just said? I know that I can improve in this area with my husband and I want to. He hasn't asked me to change, but I know it is an area of my life that needs tuning up, and I WANT the change. 

Last night I committed to a plan of action with my husband. I committed to physically stop and give him my full attention when he is speaking and really listen to HIM, to HIS heart, and show value to what he is sharing with me. Thus giving him respect and the love and value that we all desire.  I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing!

Who am I?

This is Caleb 4 months and Addison 6 months. Two of my grand babies! Who are they going to be? A lot depends on their little personalities  and how they are raised. Temperaments are GOD given and it's been discovered that they are inherited, not made. It's not to say that nurture is not important, but if we are born with a temperament that is given from GOD to accomplish HIS purpose, it's pretty important that I know my temperament, so that I can work more effectively within that framework. How freeing it is to be who I was made to be, not trying to be anyone else. Are you Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, or Phlegmatic? 

Most of us are primarily one with a combination of another.. I am tend towards the sanguine/choleric side of it. The more I learn of who God made me to be and combine it with my values, experiences, gifts and talents, I begin to get a clearer picture of how I can love others better, and let GOD have full reign in my life. 

goal setting

I like to set goals. The key to goals that work are first that they only involve me. They can't be dependent on another persons cooperation. When I set a goal that involves the cooperation of someone else, typically it is a set up for failure and resentment towards that other person. I can't control someone else, and unless my goal is something they themselves want also, it is not going to work. 

Goals also need to be specific, measurable, attainable, and time accountable. I used to set these pie in the sky goals like, I want to be happily married. The problem with a goal of being happily married is that first it involves my husbands cooperation for success, and how do you measure happiness? It's a moving target. A goal that follows the specific, measurable, attainable, and time accountable, is. "I am going to show my husband love this week by making his tea every morning, and giving him a kiss." I am very happily married, however my goals involving my marriage, are not for a happy marriage, but rather to show love and gratitude to my husband every single day. 

My goals in life are about me and what I can accomplish or change. As soon as I began making goals with the criteria that I described above, wrote them down, and then told someone, my odds for achieving those goals went dramatically up. I set short term goals, and long term goals,  but which ever they are they are part of my quest to live a more intentional meaningful contented life. And I am!! Life is so good.....and I am happy!

hitting the mark

Last night when I was sitting out in my backyard, I was mesmerized by a bumble bee. He was trying to land on a bunch of flowers and draw the nectar out the the center, but as hard as he tried he kept missing the center of the flower itself and instead landed on the top of the flower.  Yet still he lingered there working and trying to position himself to get what he was after. Over and over this big beautiful black bumble bee tried to hit the mark, trying flower after flower, but the flowers were too small to hold his weight and they would collapse underneath him. Finally he flew off without getting the prize. I couldn't help but wonder how many times I myself have not hit the mark and didn't get what I was looking for, because either I had too many targets, or the target I was shooting for was too small, and therefor I didn't have the skill yet to hit it. I in those times, like the bumble bee, gave up and flew off. 

I have discovered that knowing what I am aiming for is important. Without a target, how do I know where to aim. I personally enjoy hitting the mark that I set out to achieve. I have found that once I have a target, and know what the ultimate goal is, then I can begin to find the path to get there. This is where goal setting comes in and a plan to achieve those goals.....

do I care?

Statistics show that women are not good at self care. I'm not talking about getting our nails done or occasional pampering or shopping, but regular healthy self care. Gradually we give our energy away to our husbands, jobs, children, and serving. Only to wake up and find that in the process we have lost ourselves and our energy and passion for life. 

I have found it is important if I am going to have the energy to live this life full out, enjoying and growing towards my dreams and living God's purpose, to practice daily, healthy self care.  Eating right, regular exercise, and caring for my mind and heart spending daily quiet time with the Lord. If I care for myself on a daily basis, then I am better equipped to love others and to meet the daily demands of life with peace and balance. We all know this, and yet sadly, caring for ourselves is typically the first thing that suffers in our over busy life. What if you believed that caring for yourself daily would enable you to not only enjoy life more, but love others better? Would you do it then?

I do this everyday knowing that for me, healthy self care, is key to being able to love and pour myself out for others. 

Have a great day!

Intentional living

I have found that life change doesn't just happen. I have to recognize that I have a problem, then I have to desire to change, and then I have to set about to make the necessary adjustments to my life. How many times in the past, I set goals for myself but didn't achieve the desired results. To be honest, it was because I didn't set about to make any real changes. I just hoped that change would happen without planning for it and counting the cost. I wanted a fulfilling life but I wasn't willing to do whatever it took. I wasn't living intentionally. I went from day to day with too big a list, too much stress and not enough time to get it all done. I was overwhelmed and under satisfied, and yet my life was good...I loved my family, husband, job, home, and friends. What? did I need to do? I finally came to the place that I recognized that if I didn't get more intentional about living my life and what I believed in, it wasn't going to happen. I am and have been going through a process of dealing with my whole self....Body, mind, spirit...integrating who the Lord made me to be and letting HIM live that out in all areas of my life. If God made all these areas of me, why am I not addressing and caring for them? It's a process of change and growth....fully and intentionally enjoying the fullness of life. I'll write more about how in the days that follow...

Stop.

Don't move, stay right there. With the stop sign on the bus we know when to move, it's when the puts down the sign. We can then go around and continue on our way.  But life and making decisions isn't always that easy. We want to move forward but don't either know how to or when to. So we find ourselves instead not just stopping , but STUCK. Frozen in the futility of our own thinking. So what do we do? We can sit an ruminate over the problem until we make ourselves and everyone around us sick, or we can take steps forward to move out of the mess.  I have found that asking for help is the first step, and finding a target the next step. What am I trying to achieve. A small,  specific, measurable target is often a great way to get me moving forward again with action steps on how to get there. 

Love makes a difference

There is a song that says "Love can build a bridge, between your heart and mine" I woke up with that on my heart this morning and I've been thinking and recalling God's Word on love....Love covers a multitude of sins, love heals, love binds, love is patient, kind, it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 

No matter who I desire to be and what goal I dream of reaching, if it is not with love, it's not worth anything. It will profit no one. All things eternal, that last and make a real difference are done in love and with love. Not love of self, but with and for love of others. 

Practice

I have found that whenever I am learning something new, many new opportunities of a time to practice show up and present themselves. I am practicing the discipline of waiting and listening to God over something that grieves me. Everything human in me wants to rise up and scream, but wisdom has proven that it is never a good idea to rush ahead, but instead to seek wisdom from the Lord and then to seek His counsel through others that walk their talk, and follow the Word of God. I only want to move forward in and through the leading of the Holy Spirit and His power. 

Life Coaching is all about that. Praying, looking and searching for clarity, receiving guidance, waiting for the Lord's timing, and formulating an action plan. 

I myself am in that practice today, of disciplining and controlling my mouth and thoughts, through praying, looking, searching, waiting on the Lord and looking to Him for His strength and guidance. In fact I try to practice these things in all areas of my life, though sometimes I am more successful than others.  These practices and experiences, though painful at times, make me a better person and a coach as I walk them through. 

Have a blessed day!

Stop and Listen

This week in a class that I lead, the homework was.... look at their lives, and decide what would have to change in order to make room for a deeper relationship with God, and then in their time with God to listen to what He was saying. 

The beauty of this assignment was that God spoke to each heart as they each had a desire to hear Him and seek more time with Him. Whether they spent 5 minutes or 2 hours with the Lord, as they sought the Lord, and took time to listen and be still, He spoke to each one. The truth is: He is alive and longing for deeper relationship with you!

The struggle in society today is to take the time, stop, and then listen. We have so much to do, and so much to say, that it can be next to impossible to slow down and just listen. 

God wants to speak to you. He is inviting you to stop, rest a while and listen. 

Friends

I think that it's easy to get so busy that we forget how important our friends are to our lives. Yesterday I met with a friend of 23 years, and I am embarrassed to say that we haven't seen each other in 5 years, and for the last 1.5 years have lived only 45 minutes away from each other. I have missed her and love her and still the time slipped away and we hadn't gotten together for a variety of good reasons, but the truth is, my life has not been as rich and full without her in it. Yesterday we met and we now have a date once a month to meet for lunch somewhere in the middle. I am not going to let time get away from me again. We have so much life that we have shared over the years and I am looking forward to many more years of sharing. Is there an old friend that you miss, give them a call....what is holding you back?

Humility

What if real humility is "knowing myself, accepting myself, and being myself to the glory of God"

Someone once said there is only one you, and if you, don't do you, then you won't get done. 

Go be YOU today to the glory of GOD!

getting older

One of the great joys in life is being a grandma. This is Caleb( 12 weeks and the youngest of 4 grandchildren) I love being a grandma, I'm loving getting older. Most things as they get older wear out, but I'm getting better with age. My body may be fading and wearing out with time, but I'm wiser, stronger, relationships are deeper, I am free to give and receive love, fear no longer controls me or holds me back, and I have a deep appreciation for the gift of life and other people. 

Life is good!

Today Matters

Does today really matter? You bet it does...What I do or do not do, directly effects my tomorrow. 

All the little things add up to the big stuff, so I better have my priorities in order. I love smooth days, and have personally discovered that when my priorities are in order and l live out my values and what I believe that every day can be a good day. 

We can have an impact on how our day goes and filling fulfilled. I plan on having a fulfilling day God filled day!

This morning I was up early and out in my garden pulling little weeds between my flowers and noticed that the first blooms on my flowers are beginning to fade. Out came the pruning shears to take off the almost dead blossoms. I had to be careful as to not cut off the new blooms, but the old had to come off for the plant to look beautiful again and to give energy to producing new flowers. 

So it is in my life, I have to prune those things in my life that are draining energy from me and taking away from the new flowers that God is forming in me. It's a careful process and not one to be rushed into, and yet it needs to be done. If I leave the old flowers on, it hinders new growth, and those that do bloom are stunted because the plant had to feed the old and the new. I think one of the reasons that I hang on to the old, is because I get lazy and don't want to do the work, and the other is it hurts to prune back my life. It causes change and commitment on my part, and that can really stretch me. Sometimes it's easier to stay in a stunted position..less is required.

 But the truth is I want and like to grow more than to stay the same. I want to learn and continue on the path that the Lord has me on, no matter what might lay ahead for me. It's the only way that I will be fulfilled. To do and be what what the Lord has designed for my life. 

Someone special

"For we are HIS workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them" Ephesians 2:10 

You're special, we all are. We are created by God to do good works, to make a difference in this world. I think the trouble can be, how do I find my place where I can really make my life count? It's when we realize that we are all made uniquely with a different combination of gifts, talents, passions, and desires; and stop comparing ourselves to others and what they have or how they are made, and get to the business of discovering instead who and what God created me to be, that we begin to find our place and live our lives in the light of that purpose. 

It's when I walk out my purpose that I make a difference.

What are my values? What is it, that I really live for? What would I be willing to go to the mat for? I've thought a lot about this and have realized that it is from my values that I set my course of life. They are my due north. For years, though my values were there, I was not living according to what I believed and was in emotional distress. I had no internal peace. Not realizing who I really was, or who God made to be, I felt divided and under a constant source of inner tension. I couldn't find that inner peace and happy place. I was caught in an internal struggle of trying to please those around me, instead of being who God made me to be. I lived my life on what was shifting sand, the opinions and acceptance of others. The irony of trying to please everyone is that you please no one and lose yourself in the process.
Living life in such a co-dependent way was a disaster, both for me emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I needed to find out who I really was created to be, and begin to live that out. 
It's been over the last 19 years that I have been discovering who the Lord has made me to be, what He's called me to, and how to live that out in HIs strength. I am living at 49 what feels like a dream. I am content, peaceful and living a life of purpose and calling. 
John 15:15 " You did not chose Me, but I chose you, that you would go and bear fruit, and your fruit would remain".....God has chosen us that we would go out and make a difference....By living out our God given purpose we can do that!

Priorities

Keep first things first and seconds will happen. Do second thing first and first never happens. 

What are the priorities of your life? Do you treat them as such? or do they get pushed to the back burner on the "I'll get it list" of tomorrow? How would each day be different if we were to do the most important things first. The rest would still happen. I have found that when I put off my priorities and fill my time with all the other stuff, that I end up never getting to the things that were most important, and I end up feeling less than satisfied with my day. 

What are those things that matter most to you? For me it's quiet reflective time with the Lord, my husband, relationships, and then work...in that order. I can say first hand that it doesn't just happen that way, I have to organize my life to reflect what I care about most, and some days it can be a struggle. It seems that the urgent threaten to push out the important. However, When I keep first things first, second, third and fourth always happen. 

JOY

I love the beach. Love the ocean. For me it is instant peace and serenity. It doesn't matter what may be going on but being at the beach brings me to the feet of Jesus, to sit at His feet and to hear HIS voice. 

Over the last year with the onset and then treatment of Mike's cancer, I have found myself evaluating my values and priorities . Looking at my God given values and passions that make me who I am. One of those values is JOY. What brings JOY to my life is the Lord, and yet it is not only through knowing that HE loves me and cares for me, but through nature and creativity that I experience HIS JOY. This pure Joy that permeates my being and fills me up to overflowing. Nature, painting, taking pictures, being outside working in the dirt, being at the beach brings me right into the arms of my CREATOR and JOY abounds within my soul. I have always known I love being outside, but living such a busy life, I was not intentional about bringing more of these times of JOY with God into my life, but enjoyed them as they presented themselves. I am intentional now...on a regular basis, in fact everyday bringing these JOY filled experiences to my life, if it only means being out in my garden pulling weeds. I have always been a happy person, and loved life....but now I feel that I am living it to the FULL!

The hills are alive

The hills are alive with the sound of music! All of creation singing out to God in all their glory and splendor. Our lives too are created to sing a song. We were created to make a difference in this world, living with purpose.  Just as nature sings and calls out to Him, God created us to sing HIm a new song with our lives to the Glory of Him who created us. 

Today my heart is full of the beauty that is around me singing back to Him of how grateful I am to be alive and live in such a beautiful world.

grow

Grow up. The apostle Paul says that we are to grow up and no longer be stuck in the futility of our own thinking. And yet it is easy to get stuck in my feelings and what I believe to be true, which might just be a distortion of what really is. We all have wrong thinking at times and all have blind spots in our lives. 

How much of what I think is true? how many of my perceptions are reality? Or am I busy trying to adjust God and the world to fit the way I want things to be, rather than accepting life on life's terms and changing my distorted thinking into the reality of what really is. 

God's word says that we are to transform and renew our minds, not conforming to the pattern of this world, but instead to run the race that HE has marked before us. My race is different than yours. Each of us has an individual race to run and a purpose to live. Although we all are to grow, and change into maturity in Christ, our paths are different. 

I know that Life coaching can help find the path, purpose and the blind spots in our lives that keep us in the futility of our own thinking. 

Why?

Why life coaching? Because life coaching is forward moving, and it's for people that are ready to change. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather, facing our fears and daring to do something different in the midst of our fears. Do you believe that you were made for a purpose? Do you believe that you have choices and that you can change? Then Life coaching is for you! Click on the flower at the bottom of the page and it will lead you straight to my web page....

READY?