Who am I?

This is Caleb 4 months and Addison 6 months. Two of my grand babies! Who are they going to be? A lot depends on their little personalities  and how they are raised. Temperaments are GOD given and it's been discovered that they are inherited, not made. It's not to say that nurture is not important, but if we are born with a temperament that is given from GOD to accomplish HIS purpose, it's pretty important that I know my temperament, so that I can work more effectively within that framework. How freeing it is to be who I was made to be, not trying to be anyone else. Are you Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, or Phlegmatic? 

Most of us are primarily one with a combination of another.. I am tend towards the sanguine/choleric side of it. The more I learn of who God made me to be and combine it with my values, experiences, gifts and talents, I begin to get a clearer picture of how I can love others better, and let GOD have full reign in my life. 

goal setting

I like to set goals. The key to goals that work are first that they only involve me. They can't be dependent on another persons cooperation. When I set a goal that involves the cooperation of someone else, typically it is a set up for failure and resentment towards that other person. I can't control someone else, and unless my goal is something they themselves want also, it is not going to work. 

Goals also need to be specific, measurable, attainable, and time accountable. I used to set these pie in the sky goals like, I want to be happily married. The problem with a goal of being happily married is that first it involves my husbands cooperation for success, and how do you measure happiness? It's a moving target. A goal that follows the specific, measurable, attainable, and time accountable, is. "I am going to show my husband love this week by making his tea every morning, and giving him a kiss." I am very happily married, however my goals involving my marriage, are not for a happy marriage, but rather to show love and gratitude to my husband every single day. 

My goals in life are about me and what I can accomplish or change. As soon as I began making goals with the criteria that I described above, wrote them down, and then told someone, my odds for achieving those goals went dramatically up. I set short term goals, and long term goals,  but which ever they are they are part of my quest to live a more intentional meaningful contented life. And I am!! Life is so good.....and I am happy!

hitting the mark

Last night when I was sitting out in my backyard, I was mesmerized by a bumble bee. He was trying to land on a bunch of flowers and draw the nectar out the the center, but as hard as he tried he kept missing the center of the flower itself and instead landed on the top of the flower.  Yet still he lingered there working and trying to position himself to get what he was after. Over and over this big beautiful black bumble bee tried to hit the mark, trying flower after flower, but the flowers were too small to hold his weight and they would collapse underneath him. Finally he flew off without getting the prize. I couldn't help but wonder how many times I myself have not hit the mark and didn't get what I was looking for, because either I had too many targets, or the target I was shooting for was too small, and therefor I didn't have the skill yet to hit it. I in those times, like the bumble bee, gave up and flew off. 

I have discovered that knowing what I am aiming for is important. Without a target, how do I know where to aim. I personally enjoy hitting the mark that I set out to achieve. I have found that once I have a target, and know what the ultimate goal is, then I can begin to find the path to get there. This is where goal setting comes in and a plan to achieve those goals.....

do I care?

Statistics show that women are not good at self care. I'm not talking about getting our nails done or occasional pampering or shopping, but regular healthy self care. Gradually we give our energy away to our husbands, jobs, children, and serving. Only to wake up and find that in the process we have lost ourselves and our energy and passion for life. 

I have found it is important if I am going to have the energy to live this life full out, enjoying and growing towards my dreams and living God's purpose, to practice daily, healthy self care.  Eating right, regular exercise, and caring for my mind and heart spending daily quiet time with the Lord. If I care for myself on a daily basis, then I am better equipped to love others and to meet the daily demands of life with peace and balance. We all know this, and yet sadly, caring for ourselves is typically the first thing that suffers in our over busy life. What if you believed that caring for yourself daily would enable you to not only enjoy life more, but love others better? Would you do it then?

I do this everyday knowing that for me, healthy self care, is key to being able to love and pour myself out for others. 

Have a great day!

Intentional living

I have found that life change doesn't just happen. I have to recognize that I have a problem, then I have to desire to change, and then I have to set about to make the necessary adjustments to my life. How many times in the past, I set goals for myself but didn't achieve the desired results. To be honest, it was because I didn't set about to make any real changes. I just hoped that change would happen without planning for it and counting the cost. I wanted a fulfilling life but I wasn't willing to do whatever it took. I wasn't living intentionally. I went from day to day with too big a list, too much stress and not enough time to get it all done. I was overwhelmed and under satisfied, and yet my life was good...I loved my family, husband, job, home, and friends. What? did I need to do? I finally came to the place that I recognized that if I didn't get more intentional about living my life and what I believed in, it wasn't going to happen. I am and have been going through a process of dealing with my whole self....Body, mind, spirit...integrating who the Lord made me to be and letting HIM live that out in all areas of my life. If God made all these areas of me, why am I not addressing and caring for them? It's a process of change and growth....fully and intentionally enjoying the fullness of life. I'll write more about how in the days that follow...

Stop.

Don't move, stay right there. With the stop sign on the bus we know when to move, it's when the puts down the sign. We can then go around and continue on our way.  But life and making decisions isn't always that easy. We want to move forward but don't either know how to or when to. So we find ourselves instead not just stopping , but STUCK. Frozen in the futility of our own thinking. So what do we do? We can sit an ruminate over the problem until we make ourselves and everyone around us sick, or we can take steps forward to move out of the mess.  I have found that asking for help is the first step, and finding a target the next step. What am I trying to achieve. A small,  specific, measurable target is often a great way to get me moving forward again with action steps on how to get there. 

Love makes a difference

There is a song that says "Love can build a bridge, between your heart and mine" I woke up with that on my heart this morning and I've been thinking and recalling God's Word on love....Love covers a multitude of sins, love heals, love binds, love is patient, kind, it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 

No matter who I desire to be and what goal I dream of reaching, if it is not with love, it's not worth anything. It will profit no one. All things eternal, that last and make a real difference are done in love and with love. Not love of self, but with and for love of others. 

Practice

I have found that whenever I am learning something new, many new opportunities of a time to practice show up and present themselves. I am practicing the discipline of waiting and listening to God over something that grieves me. Everything human in me wants to rise up and scream, but wisdom has proven that it is never a good idea to rush ahead, but instead to seek wisdom from the Lord and then to seek His counsel through others that walk their talk, and follow the Word of God. I only want to move forward in and through the leading of the Holy Spirit and His power. 

Life Coaching is all about that. Praying, looking and searching for clarity, receiving guidance, waiting for the Lord's timing, and formulating an action plan. 

I myself am in that practice today, of disciplining and controlling my mouth and thoughts, through praying, looking, searching, waiting on the Lord and looking to Him for His strength and guidance. In fact I try to practice these things in all areas of my life, though sometimes I am more successful than others.  These practices and experiences, though painful at times, make me a better person and a coach as I walk them through. 

Have a blessed day!

Stop and Listen

This week in a class that I lead, the homework was.... look at their lives, and decide what would have to change in order to make room for a deeper relationship with God, and then in their time with God to listen to what He was saying. 

The beauty of this assignment was that God spoke to each heart as they each had a desire to hear Him and seek more time with Him. Whether they spent 5 minutes or 2 hours with the Lord, as they sought the Lord, and took time to listen and be still, He spoke to each one. The truth is: He is alive and longing for deeper relationship with you!

The struggle in society today is to take the time, stop, and then listen. We have so much to do, and so much to say, that it can be next to impossible to slow down and just listen. 

God wants to speak to you. He is inviting you to stop, rest a while and listen. 

Friends

I think that it's easy to get so busy that we forget how important our friends are to our lives. Yesterday I met with a friend of 23 years, and I am embarrassed to say that we haven't seen each other in 5 years, and for the last 1.5 years have lived only 45 minutes away from each other. I have missed her and love her and still the time slipped away and we hadn't gotten together for a variety of good reasons, but the truth is, my life has not been as rich and full without her in it. Yesterday we met and we now have a date once a month to meet for lunch somewhere in the middle. I am not going to let time get away from me again. We have so much life that we have shared over the years and I am looking forward to many more years of sharing. Is there an old friend that you miss, give them a call....what is holding you back?

Humility

What if real humility is "knowing myself, accepting myself, and being myself to the glory of God"

Someone once said there is only one you, and if you, don't do you, then you won't get done. 

Go be YOU today to the glory of GOD!

getting older

One of the great joys in life is being a grandma. This is Caleb( 12 weeks and the youngest of 4 grandchildren) I love being a grandma, I'm loving getting older. Most things as they get older wear out, but I'm getting better with age. My body may be fading and wearing out with time, but I'm wiser, stronger, relationships are deeper, I am free to give and receive love, fear no longer controls me or holds me back, and I have a deep appreciation for the gift of life and other people. 

Life is good!

Today Matters

Does today really matter? You bet it does...What I do or do not do, directly effects my tomorrow. 

All the little things add up to the big stuff, so I better have my priorities in order. I love smooth days, and have personally discovered that when my priorities are in order and l live out my values and what I believe that every day can be a good day. 

We can have an impact on how our day goes and filling fulfilled. I plan on having a fulfilling day God filled day!

This morning I was up early and out in my garden pulling little weeds between my flowers and noticed that the first blooms on my flowers are beginning to fade. Out came the pruning shears to take off the almost dead blossoms. I had to be careful as to not cut off the new blooms, but the old had to come off for the plant to look beautiful again and to give energy to producing new flowers. 

So it is in my life, I have to prune those things in my life that are draining energy from me and taking away from the new flowers that God is forming in me. It's a careful process and not one to be rushed into, and yet it needs to be done. If I leave the old flowers on, it hinders new growth, and those that do bloom are stunted because the plant had to feed the old and the new. I think one of the reasons that I hang on to the old, is because I get lazy and don't want to do the work, and the other is it hurts to prune back my life. It causes change and commitment on my part, and that can really stretch me. Sometimes it's easier to stay in a stunted position..less is required.

 But the truth is I want and like to grow more than to stay the same. I want to learn and continue on the path that the Lord has me on, no matter what might lay ahead for me. It's the only way that I will be fulfilled. To do and be what what the Lord has designed for my life. 

Someone special

"For we are HIS workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them" Ephesians 2:10 

You're special, we all are. We are created by God to do good works, to make a difference in this world. I think the trouble can be, how do I find my place where I can really make my life count? It's when we realize that we are all made uniquely with a different combination of gifts, talents, passions, and desires; and stop comparing ourselves to others and what they have or how they are made, and get to the business of discovering instead who and what God created me to be, that we begin to find our place and live our lives in the light of that purpose. 

It's when I walk out my purpose that I make a difference.

What are my values? What is it, that I really live for? What would I be willing to go to the mat for? I've thought a lot about this and have realized that it is from my values that I set my course of life. They are my due north. For years, though my values were there, I was not living according to what I believed and was in emotional distress. I had no internal peace. Not realizing who I really was, or who God made to be, I felt divided and under a constant source of inner tension. I couldn't find that inner peace and happy place. I was caught in an internal struggle of trying to please those around me, instead of being who God made me to be. I lived my life on what was shifting sand, the opinions and acceptance of others. The irony of trying to please everyone is that you please no one and lose yourself in the process.
Living life in such a co-dependent way was a disaster, both for me emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I needed to find out who I really was created to be, and begin to live that out. 
It's been over the last 19 years that I have been discovering who the Lord has made me to be, what He's called me to, and how to live that out in HIs strength. I am living at 49 what feels like a dream. I am content, peaceful and living a life of purpose and calling. 
John 15:15 " You did not chose Me, but I chose you, that you would go and bear fruit, and your fruit would remain".....God has chosen us that we would go out and make a difference....By living out our God given purpose we can do that!